ABAGIRA AMENYO MUSEKE- URWENYA !!!

                            ABAGIRAMENYO  NABABWIRA IKI?      

- Umutwa wigiraga batisimu yagiye ku bazwa ngo padiri arebe ko yumvise ibyo ivanjili na Kiliziya bamubwira. Padiri ati ese Nyina wa Yezu yitwa nde? Ati ariko se mwana wa, ndaba ntazi nyoko uri umunyarwanda mwene wacu nkamenya nyina wa yezu w’umuzungu?  Padiri ntiacika intege ati”ese Yezu azagaruka?” Umutwa ati ”padi, niba ibyo watubwiye bamukoreye aribyo, agarutse yaba ashaka kwiyahura”. Barakomeza, akomeza gusubiza neza rwose, padir ati ariko nku’ubu ahantu heza wumva wagera ukanezerwa nihehe? Undi padi, ”uwanshyira mu kabindi kuzuye ubuki, nareba hasi ngasoma, nareba hejuru ngasoma, nahindukira ngasoma, rwose nanezerwa”. Padiri wari witeze yuko avuga yuko yajya mu ijuru, aba arumiwe, ati genda uzaze ubatizwe. Ati ariko ubundi muzitwa bande? Undi jyewe nzitwa Yozinyama, umugore Bikira Mariya, umwana yitwe Yezu.

 - Umugabo yasomye akagwa ka bitoki ashira inyota. Agerageje guhaguruka biranga aba yituye mu ngarani agaramye. Abo bari kumwe bose ngo 'kweeeee!' Nawe ati "yeee, ngaho nimukomeze munywe munseka, ziraza kubica nigaramiye." 

- Naho umusore Rudatinya w'i Karama yagiye kuvumba i Bweramvura kwa Mushotsi wa Kavuna, yijuse afata agakoni ke ashogoshera yerekeza iwe. Ageze mu kigunda, abona ibihuru byo mu kigarama yagendagamo biraza bimusanga, kandi akabona bifite isura y'intare. Abona byamusatiriye ku buryo ntaho yabihungira nta n'uburyo yabisiga. Ni ko gukubita ikivugirizo, yongeraho akaririmbo ati "nishyize mu  maboko yawe wa ntare we! Nkuragije na roho yanjye n'umubiri wanjye!"

-  Umupasitoro Nzamuvumba wabaga ahantu hitwa i Gitwe, yigeze kwiherera mu nzu asangira n'abandi ka "coca cola" (kavangiye), asohotse ageze hanze abona imisozi irimo irazenguruka. Araterura ati "bene data bakundwa, nimwegere mbigishe dore ibyahanuwe birasohotse".  Abo basangiye bazi yuko atamenyereye ako gasoda, bati "pastoro ba ugarutse mu nzu"! Ati " mwimbuza guhanura kandi ibyanditswe byasohoye. Byaravuzwe yuko ku munsi wa nyuma imisozi izimukira indi, none dore Rwabicuma yimukiye Mpanga, mu kanya murabona za Gacu zibahise imbere!" Ni uko barakurura bahirikira mu nzu.

-  Umugabo Bagira yigeze gutaha ubukwe iyo mu bakungu, abutaha afite icyaka cyamuteye umwuma, maze si ugukurura ubupfura arabupfurika. Kera kabaye rero igihe cyo gutaha kiragera. Ageze hanze abona ibiti biramuhita iruhande byiruka, abona amazu amunyuze imbere yihuta; akubitiye ku munaniro yifitiye, yiyicarira hasi, ati ndategerereza hano inzu yanjye nayo buriya iri mu nzira iransanga hano.

- Umugore wagiraga inyota akirinda kunywa amazi ngo umuhogo we utavaho umeramo urubobi, yigeze kugasoma, agashira inyota. Yibutse ibyo gutaha abatura umwana amukubita umugongo amucuritse. Agiye kumusimbiza aba amukoze mu kanwa, maze induru ayiha amunwa, ati 'naje mfite umwana w'umuhungu none mwanguraniye?!

- Umugabo NKUNZABAGABO yanyuze haruguru yo kwa MAYUYA yunva abantu baraganira munzu baseka cyane . Yali avuye ku rugendo inyota imumereye nabi .Nubwo atali umumwanyi wa Mayuya alibwira ati reka mpanyure mbavumbe!!!Nuko Nkunzabagabo yinjira murugo buhoro ageze mu mulyango winzu aliyasira ati mwiliwe yemwe kwa Mayuya? Mayuya amwunvise ashikuza igicuma umugabo wali ugifite agishyira mu kwaha mugikoti kirekire yali yambaye nuko arahaguruka ati ntakwilirwa  ntakwilirwa ntacyo tulya!!!  Inyota yatumaze none tuliganirira gusa!! Ubwo Nkunzabagabo abayabagezemo areba iminwa yabo ibobereye ntiyabashira amakenga ati nubundi nuko tutali duherukanye nali ngukumbuye  cyaneee reka naguhobere dushirane urukumbuzi.

Abivuga asingira MAYUYA ngo amuhobere (Kuko yali yabonye ko aliwe ufite igicuma mwikoti) Mayuya yitaza  yiyamira ati Sigaho!!! Sigaho !!! Rekareka!!!UTAMEMERA IKOTI WA MUGABOWE!!!!!

Sinjye wahera!!!

- Umugore Mukamuganga yakundaga urwa bitoke. Bukeye baza kumusaba umugeni maze yenga urwagwa ruryoshye cyane arushyira munsi y'urutara mu kijerekani(jerrican) kugirango ruhore abashyitsi bazarunywe rumeze neza dore ko rwari rwahiye ubukwe bushigaje icyumweru ngo bube. Noneho uko amaze kurya ibishyimbo n'ibijumba ati:"Ese bati none urwagwa rwazabiha umugabo nazamukira?" Akagenda agashora umuheha mu kijerekani akumviriza ati ruzaryoha ye! Buri munsi akumva uko rumeze. Bukeye abakwe baraza baricara maze Mukamuganga anyarukira munsi y'urutara aricara ibicuma akaba yabyogeje mu nkoko bitukura. Afata igicuma cya mbere cyitwaga Gahogo bari baritiriye umuturanyi wavumbaga cyane. Afata ikijerikani umunwa awuhamya uw'igicuma asukamo yitonze ariko habura ikiza arambiwe n'abakwe barambiwe arahaguruka aragenda yegera umugabo we ati"Mbese urabizi Simo, cya gicuma na cya kijerekani ni mahwi". Simoni ati "agacuma k'amacupa abiri kanganye gate n'ijerekani ifite amacupa mirongo itatu?". Umugore bimuyobeye kubisobanura areba hirya areba hino yirasa mu myugariro dore ko basabaga mu gicuku ngo Padiri atamenya ko bagiye gushyingiza akabaca amaturo maze ajya iwabo. Habura usabwa hagati y'umwana na nyina.

- Umuganga wakunda kugasoma yigeze kugakura mu icupa kamukuramo itaburiya. Uti kagire inkuru re! Uko byagenze burya ibara umupfu, ariko umugabo yagize atya yinywera  agatama, aragasoma arasusuruka, ariko akomeje karamugarika, icyuya kiramurenga, ururimi rurasohoka, abandi basangiraga baraterura barahutera no kwa muganga bati ba! Umuganga wari ku izamu basanga rero nawe yashize inyota, amukubise igipimo, ati "umuntu yahwereye kare ni mujyane mu nzu y'abitabye Imana (morgue). Baraterura baragenda bashyira iyo, bategerejeko bzagaruka gutwara umurambo bukeye.

Nyamugabo wawe rero uko yakaryamye aho muri icyo kizu gikonje kubi, inzoga ziratangira zimushimuramo, ati "wa mugore we ko imbeho inyishe wanyoroshe!" Akabakabye yumva ari wenyine, akoze ku ruhande abura icyo afata, yumva ayobewe aho ari. Aba akoze mu mufuka akuramo ikibiriti, dore ko yatumuraga n'agatabi, agize ngo aracana abona ari hagati y'abapfu. Induru ayiha umunwa, yirukira ku rugi aratangira arahondagura.  Maramuko wari uraye izamu aba avugije induru ati ni mutabare abapfu barwanye, ni mutabare, ni mutabare, yeee! Abarwayi iyo ku bitanda bahubuka biruka bahunga abo bazimu barwanira mu nzu y'abapfu.  N'ubu hari abakiruka.

-  Burya ijoro ribara uwariraye koko, ariko burya n'inyota ugira uwanyoye. Dore nawe muri cya gihe zitwikiraga ijoro zigatera u Rwanda muribuka yuko hashyizweho za bariyeri zo kuzikumira. Ariko rero hari izashoboya gucengera maze zihemukira benshi. Umugabo Baziruwiha rero wari utuye i Mbazi ya Butare niwe waribara. Yagize atya arakumanukira aturutse mu mugi wa Butare, zimaze kumugira ayo ifundi igira ibivuzo, maze ageze ahateganye na stade Huye asanga abajandarume bahashyize bariyeri, yitegereza ukuntu baharika buri muntu bamubaza ibyangombwa, yumvise ananiwe, ati "mwese mushyire amaboko hejuru!" Abajandarume imbunda baba bazijugunye iriya amaboko barayamanika, tutavuze nyine n'abo bagenzi bari baraho. Umugabo ahita akubitwa agatwenge, ati "ese burya namwe muba mufite ubwoba!?" Abajandarume baba baramwadukiriye baramukibita. Aha barambiriwe, bati "ngaho nigitahe". Undi arahindukira asubira mu mugi. Bati ko udatashye se? Undi, ati "iyi nyota munteye ntiyatuma ngerayo, nbgiye kubanza nishumbushe rimwe"!.

- Umugabo Gitariro wo mu Bugarama yaguhubukiye iyo ngiyo ajya gusura umukobwa warongowe iyo bita i Burayi. Agezeyo mwa bagabo mwe, mbega! Nta gasina kahaba nta dusaka ngo yenge akagage maze inyota iramujujubya. Cyakora umukobwa we akamugurira urwagwa rwaho rwasaga n'umutuku. Gitariro akarwanga kubi ngo nta muneke rwose ni barukatamo. Ni uko kera kabaye imbeho iraza dore ko itajya ihabura. Gitariro ahera mu nzu. Bukeye akazuba karava umukobwa we ati tujye guhaha nkwereke n'isoko ry'ino ryitwa karefuru uzabwire n'abaturanyi ko watembereye. Baragenda binjira muri iryo soko riruta ayandi mu Bufaransa. Barahaha maze Gitariro ngo yakarabukwa aho za byeri ziterekanze amera nk'ukubiswe n'inkuba yanga kongera gutera ikirenge yumira aho ari. Umukobwa we ati tugende dore umugabo wanjye agiye kuva ku kazi; abuzukuru bati tugende sogokuru dore  mu kanya hari amashusho avuga (dessin animé). Gitariro akica amatwi. Aza gucunga umukobwa ahugiye mu mapantaro dore ko ibiciro byari byagabanyijwe(solde) maze yirasa muri byeri ashikuzamo agakarito ka henikeni(heinekein) 24. Arakanaguzwa abona hirya ye akazu gafunguye yirasa nk'urukwavu rwambuka umuhanda. Aho hakaba hari mu kazu bigeragamo imyenda kari kuzuye abari n'abategarugori bigeraga imyenda y'imbere ihendutse mu igabanya ry'ibiciro. Barabutswe Gitariro winjiye avuga Mpa,mpa ni angahe (donnes donnes c'est combien?) birukira rimwe imyambaro bayikinga hasi no hejuru amatako bayabangira ingata ariko Abimukira bashishoza niba hari itandukanyirizo ry'Abablondes n'Ababrunes cyakora basanga bose barazimyoye bati"yaaa"! Amasoko arahurura Gitariro yibereye mu kazu kuri manyinya. Aho Polisi iziye anketi zirakorwa habura ufatwa cyakora Gitariro basanga yari yarishwe n'inyota. Nyiri isoko ati Gitariro rero reka nguhe akazi dore amasoko yose yahuruye none abaguzi babaye benshi ejo uzaze utangire ukore ujye ushyira ziriya byeri aho abaguzi bazitagaguza bahitamo. Gitariro aratangira arakora ariko ku munsi wa kabiri atangira kuririmba ati"Karefuru tuzagutora.............kugeza ubwo Abazimyamuriro bahageze basanga yumye kera bamujyana amaguru adakora hasi tuyoberwa irengero rye.

- Umugabo Bazumvampehe yagiye ku kazi yasinze, noneho umukoresha we Gasyampeke ararakara cyane, ati koko nta soni ufite zo kuza ku kazi wasinze? Undi ati: “rwose urandenganya ibi byose ni muganga wabiteye!” Umukoresha we ati : “nonese muganga ni we wakwinitse mu nzoga?”. Undi ati: “rwose ejo nagiye kwa muganga mbabara mu nda, noneho anyandikira umuti ngomba kugura; ariko uzi ukuntu nawe bandika. Icyo nabashije gusoma ku rupapuro rero ni ahanditse amacupa abiri, n'ahandi handitse gatatu ku munsi.  Urumva nawe ibyakurikiyeho”.

- Rwiyamirira, Kagozi na Bwenge bahagurutse Cyarubare  bajyana gusura munywanyi wabo Sezikeye wari utuye Sovu na Sibagire. Barenga imisozi baterera iyindi, bamaze guhinguka Shyogo na Shyanda ijoro riba riraguye. Ni bwo bigiriye inama yo kujya gucumbika ku rugo bari babonye hafi yabo. Wagira ngo Bwenge yahise amenya ko ba nyir'ururugo barangije gufungura, cyakora hasigaye utwo bararije abana. Bene urugo babaza abo bagenzi uko bitwa, abandi bavuga amazina yabo bageze kuri  Bwenge ati "nitwa Abashyitsi." Nyir'urugo abanza kwicara arabaganiriza, hashize akanya abwira ab'iwe ati "ngiye kuruhuka, none zana twa turyo twari twararije abana uhe abashyitsi." Ibiryo bimaza kuza Bwenge abwira bagenzi be ati "bavuze ko bagaburira abashyitsi kandi ni jyewe witwa gutyo, ubwo mwebwe muraba mutegereje, buriya  barabatekera ibyanyu. Si bwo Bwenge abiriye wenyine! Hashize akanya nyir'urugo arongera ahamagara umugore ati "ndakeka twa turyo twabaye iyanga, reba na ya mineke iri ku rusenge na yo uyihe abashyitsi."  Imineke barayizana, Bwenge ati "mwumvise ko iyi na yo ari iy'abashyitsi, ubwo mwe murakomeza kuba mutegereje." Erega imineke na yo Bwenge ayihinaho wenyine.

- Kera amajyambere ya kizungu ataratwinjiramo muzi ko abantu basangiriraga ku nkoko akenshi babaga bashasheho agakoma. Muri icyo gihe rero umugabo Rwitsibagura yasangiraga n'abandi, aza kubona intongo z'inyama yifuzaga batazishyize imbere ye. Ni bwo ateruye agira ati "burya ibyaduka ni ibyaduka koko, ndetse biragatsindwa. Yewe, dushatse twajya twigendeshereza amaguru!"  Abandi baba barekeye aho kurya kugira ngo bamutege amatwi. Ni bwo akomeje ati "murabona ya modoka Rupangu aherutse kugura: yari ituroshye pe! Ubwo twagiye tugeze ahantu mu ikoni imodoka sinakubwira ijya iyi ijya iriya, umutima udushigukamo." Abandi bati "ayi we ! Ubwo se disi mwaje gukizwa n'iki?" Rwitsibagura ati "mwareka nkababaria ye ! Umudereva yerekanye ko azi umwuga we. Yafashe diregisiyo y'imodoka maze arayikubanura, arayiykubanura, arayikubanura kugeza ubwo imodoka yongeye kugenda neza. Mbese yabigenje nka  gutya." Ibyo erega ubwo yabivugaga ari na ko  akubanura inkoko kugeza ubwo za ntongo yifuzaga zimugeze imbere! 

- Igihe kimwe urugo rwa Serupfipfinyurimpyisi rwari rwatetse ibiryo biryoshye cyane. Noneho bukeye mu ighe umugore atari mu rugo,  umugabo aza kwegera agakono kari karimo ibyo baraje. Ni bwo ashatse kukihindaho mu gihe abandi badahari.   Ariko aza kubona biza kuba igisebo  umugore cyangwa abana baje bagasanga ari kuri uwo murimo. Ni bwo abebetanye agakono  no mu mu mubyuko w'amasaka kugira ngo abe ari ho arira yihishe. Akihagera asanga ni  ho umugore ari, arimo gusoroma igisusa n'umushogoro. Umugore arumirwa, umugabo akorwa n'ikimwaro ariko agerageza kuhikura ati "kubera nshaka kwihuta nasanze nintegereza ko urangiza ngo uze mu rugo ungaburire ndi bwice gahunda mfitanye na ba Binama. Nanze rero kukurindira, ni yo mpamvu nari nzanye inkono ngo umpeho ibyanjye mfungure vuba ngende."

- Umugabo RUKUBAYIHUNGA wabaga i Bujumbura mu Ngagara, yakundaga ubugari cyane ku buryo yajyaga yitegereza ikiyaga cya Tanganyika, akareba n'igisozi cyegamiye Bujumbura, ati " maze umunsi umwe ngakanguka ngasanga uriya musozi wabaye ubugari n'aho Tanganyika yabaye isosi! Rwakwambikana ndakubwiye!" Kuvuga burya ni ugutaruka reka dukomeze. Uwo mugabo rero Rukubayihunga yari afite ingeso yuko yabanzaga kurya, yarangiza abana bakabona kugaburirwa. Reka rero umunsi umwe umugore we Madalena abe amaze kuvuga ubugari, igihe amaze gukaraba yitegura kwihereza haze umuntu wamushakaga. Atinya kumwinjiza mu nzu ngo batavaho basangira ubwo bugari, amusanga hanze. Ariko mbere yo gusohoka asiga yanditse izina rye ku bugari, maze rirakunda rirabuzenguruka dore ko atari rigufi.

Umugore we abonye atinze hanze, akata kuri bwa bugari agaburira abana ngo badasinzira batariye. Mu gukata umugore akuraho Yihunga. Kera kabaye Rukubayihunga asezera ku mushyitsi we yinjira mu nzu. Agize ngo arareba ku bugari asanga babukaseho maze induru ayiha umunwa. Agataka ahamagara umugore, ati "yewe Madalena we, ko ndeba Rukuba, Yihunga yagiye hehe?!" Abaturanyi bamwumvise bati "uriya mugabo ashobora kuba yasaze. None se Rukubayihunga arabaza aho Rukubayihunga yagiye?"

- Ku wa gatanu mtatagatifu, umukristu yagiye gusura abapadiri kuri paruwasi maze abashyira inkoko y'isake iteye amabengeza. Kubera ko paruwasi yari nini, abapadiri bari bagabanye za santrali, kuri paruwasi hasigaye umwe wakundaga akaboga kurusha sakabaka. Akimara gusezera kuri uwo mukristu, abwira umukozi ko agomba guhita abaga iyo sake. Ariko igihe padiri yari mu sakrisitiya arimo yitegura kujya gusoma misa, umukozi aba araje, ati "ya nkoko nayibuze"! Padiri bimutera agahinda n'umujinya, ahita amubwira ngo nawe naze mu misa dore ntacyo afite cyo gukora.

Ubwo misa iratangira, bararirimba karahava, igihe cyo gusoma ivanjiri kiba kirageze. Padiri, ati "numuhorane Imana!", abandi barasubiza. Arakomeza, ati "amagambo yo mu ivanjiri ntagatifu, uko yanditswe na (aba abonye ya nkoko itambagira hanze) dore ya nkoko"! Umukozi aba arahindukiye koko arayibona, asohoka mu misa itarangiye ajya kuyitunganya. Kera kabaye rero misa irahumuza, padiri asuhuza abakristu ariko umutima uri ahandi, kuko yatekerezaga ya nkoko. Reka rero agere ku meza, umukozi azanye inkoko, padiri ayikubise amazi amaso yuzura akanwa, nari mvugishijwe, yayikubise amaso amazi yuzura akanwa. Amaze gushimira iryo funguro ryazanywe n'umukristu, agiye gukoramo, umukozi, ati "nyamara uyu munsi nta muntu wari kurya inyama kuko ari ku wa gatanu mutagatifu!" Padiri, ati " irukira mu kiliziya unzanire amazi y'umugisha nkwereke". Umukozi aba amuzaniye amazi, padiri wawe asuka duke kuri ya nkoko, ati " wa nkoko we, ubu ndakubatije uhindutse ifi". Ni uko padiri aryoherwa n'inkoko yahindutse ifi.

- Umugabo Ngunda yagize atya akurira imineke arangije arenzaho salade. Ntihashize isaha imwe gusa aba arengejeho ibijumba byokeje. Hatari hashira iminota 30 aba aroshyeho ibigori bitetse. Mu nda sinakubwira ibiyoka bitangira gutongana. Ngunda ati "ngo ubwo rero izi nzoka rirampima. Ntibimbuza gukomeza kwihera inda." Akomeza kuryagagura buri kanya. Uko aryagagura inzoka zikarushaho kwitotomba, arambiwe akora ku nda abwira ibivugiramo ati "mbahaye igice cy'isaha mukaba mwumvikanye, mwakwanga nkabasohora." Umugabo yikomereza umurimo we wo gutera imere. Mu nda na byo biranga , ni bwo umugabo atangiye kumisha indabo hirya no hino, ari byo bamwe bita gutera ibiro. Maze areba ibyo amaze kuruka ati "sinari nababwiye ko nimutumvikana mbasohora? Mwagira ngo sinabivugaga nkomeje?"

- Umugabo wagiraga amerwe yageze ahantu babaze inka, akubise amaso inyama , ati" ese uriya munzani n'inyama?" Abandi, bati "kweee!!!!!!!!" Aba ararakaye, ati "nonese ko mutansubiza kiriya kilo ni inyama?" Noneho si uguseka bavayo. Umugabo, ati "ahaaa, ndabona abatize inyama murushya!"

Umuminisitiri wo mu rwa Gasabo yaragiye yegera umukuru w'igihugu mu rwego rwo kwihakirwa, ati "ibigambo biri hanze aha birandambiye. Uzi ukuntu twumvikana ariko icyakubwira ibyo rubanda barocangwamo. Uzi ko bavuga ngo jye namwe ntitwumvikana, ngo mbese tumeze nk'injangwe n'imbwa?" Nuko umukuru w'igihugu ati "mbese ni uko bavuga? Ubwo se bashaka kuvuga ko ari jye ari nawe injangwe ari nde?" Wa muminisitiri biramushobera ariko aza kuhikura, ati "ubwo injangwe baba bavuga  ni jyewe nyakubahwa perezida wa repubulika." Perezida ati "ibyo ndabyumva neza, ariko se dukomeje gato, noneho ubwo ni ukuvuga ko imbwa baba bavuga ari nde?" Minisitiri noneho biramushobera. Cyakora arikokora ati "ubwo imbwa na yo ni jyewe nyakubahwa perezida wa repubulika." 

- Umugabo yari afite resitora maze bikaba ngombwa ko yumva niba abatetsi batetse neza. Batangira kugabura bose bakanyuza ibyo bagabuye kuri kontwari ajombamo ikanya yumva maze yabona isahani igabuye neza ati"ca hano sha, shyira ibyo biryo hariya umuguzi umugaburire ibindi". Abakozi bakahagorerwa kuko iyo resitora abategetsi benshi bayiriragamo uko ibiryo bitinze kugera ku mutegetsi ugasanga abakozi benshi bagiye mu munyururu. Bigatera ikibazo kuko abakozi ntibashoboraga kubwira abo bategetsi ko ibiryo byabo(babagaburira ) birya shebuja kandi ntibashoboraga no kubuza shebuja guhitamo mu bye. Bukeye biga ubwenge bwo guteka indyo yitwaga "Bizikora". Basekura urusenda shebuja yagiye kurangura ibitoki n'amakamyo i Kibungo. Aho agarukiye bukeye bararuteka, isosi yarwo itukura rwose isa na bike uyibonye wese amazi akuzura akanwa ariko nyine ntawari ufite uburenganzira bwo kumva ko biryoshye uretse nyiri resitora. Ibitoki bivuye ku Rusumo, birotswa amafiriti arashya maze baragabura. Ibiryo bitangira kumvwa. Ya sosi"Bizikora" iza ishashagirana nyiri resitora ayirabutswe abwira umukozi ati"dore uko gisa!Ni nde ugiye kugaburira usa utyo? Cyo jya koga". Umukozi ajya koga bwa kabiri dore ko yagiraga isuku ariko amerwe ya shebuja washakaga kurigisa igisorori cy'isosi akamutuka umwanda. Aho umukozi agendeye shebuja yinaga inyuma ya kontwari igisorori agihamya umunwa. Ntihashize isegonda hirya mu cyumba bariramo bumva ngo" Reeeeeeeeeee". Bahuruye basanga umugabo wapimaga hafi ibiro maganabiri yabize icyuya cyamurenze, ijosi ritava aho rireba nk'urwaye mugiga! Ubwo burugumesitiri yari yaje mu ba mbere kurya ku gitoki kivuye i Kibungo dore ko i Tumba cyahageraga rimwe mu cyumweru. Ati"yewe reka abacuruzi babyibuhe bazira byinshi! Muzi iminsi nabwiriwe kubera uyu mugabo, naze abe aruhukira mu kasho dore yicishije akarere inzara".

- Kera Impyisi yigeze kugendana n'umugabo Bagira bagiye gufata igihe ibwami, bageze mu nzira imvura irabanyagira irababoza. Kubw'amahirwe babona aho bikinga, noneho wa mugabo (dore ko nta mugore wafataga igihe) atangira guhuha ku ntoki, ariko azikaraga. Impyisi, iti " ese uri mu biki?" Umugabo, ati "ndi guhuha intoki ngo ndebe ko zashyuha". Aho imvura igenjereje make bakomeza urugendo, bumaze kwira bajya gushaka icumbi. Bacumbika ku mugabo Bucyanayandi, basanga batetse inyama babaha umufa ushyushye cyane ngo ubamaremo imbeho. Bagira aba afashe imbehe atangira guhuha. Impyisi, iti " noneho se kandi urahuha iki?" Bagira, ati "ndagira ngo uyu mufa uhore mbone uko nywunywa".  Imbyisi iramwitegereza, iti "ndumiwe burya abantu muraruhije. Nonese koko guhuha ibishyushye n'ibikonje! Ahaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!"

- Kera amapfa yarateye imyaka iruma mu mirima n'amariba menshi arakama. Umugabo Jyamubandi , umugore we n'abana bagatungwa no kurya ubusabusa ku buryo abana baryaga ibijumba gusa imboga zarabaye imboneka rimwe. Kera kabaye haza imiryango myishi gutabara akarere bari batuyemo maze babaha ibishyimbo. Bose bari bararambiwe kurya ibijumba dore ko n'amazi nyine yari imboneka rimwe bitavaga mu muhogo. Aho ibishyimbo bibonekeye Jyamubandi asanga ari bike maze abwira umugore we ati" Bariya bana baracyari bato bashoboye kurya ibijumba ntuzabampere udushyimbo ntituzi igihe imvura izagwira ntazabura imbuto baturiye tugashira. Umugore abika udushyimbo ariko akajya akoraho duke akadutekera Jyamubandi. Kugira ngo abana batazibagirwa uko ibishyimbo bimera akabatekera ibijumba abigeretse ku bishyimbo. Ni uko umunsi umwe bajya kurya uko bisanzwe, se w'abana yicara hariya n'udushyimbo ku gasahani, abana na nyina bajya hariya n'ibijumba byabiriwe. Umwana muto muri bo aza kurabukwa igishyimbo kiza cyari cyafashe ku kijumba arakitegereza ariko ntiyakirya. Ni uko aragifata akinaga n'ingufu nyishi ku isahani ya se ati"jya mu bindi nawe, waje ute aha?" Se w'umwana ashigukira hejuru yumvise igishyimbo kibaraje ku isahani dore ko yari ayigerereye! Induru ayiha umunwa ati “noneho amarozi yatumye imvura itagwa bayataye mu isahani yanjye.”  Ariruka ngo agiye kuraguza maze wa mwana ati “ndabirya dore igihe nabirebeshereje amaso gusa.” Udushyimbo umwana araturya maze se aho agarukiye aza avuga ati “namenye ko Rubwa utuye munsi y'urugo rwanjye ariwe wari ugiye kundoga.” Umwana ati “Rubwa yagorwa yagorwa! Nashatse gushyira igishyimbo mu bindi maze kuko wari uhuze ugira ngo kivuye hejuru none ngo Rubwa!” Kuva ubwo Jyamubandi abwira umugore ati “teka ibishyimbo byose bisigaye abana barye bahage ejo batazanterurana n'isahani.”

- Abagabo babiri bagiye kunywa ikawa maze bageze muri kafe(café) , bamaze kubaha ikawa umwe muri bo asomyeho abwira ushinzwe kuyitanga(le serveur) ati" Musore(garçon,) iyi ni yo mwita ikawa ikaze(café fort)?” Umusore utanga ikawa ati" Yego nyakubahwa kandi ikimenyetso simusiga cyarekana ko ari kawa ikaze ni uko usomyeho rimwe ugata umutwe(une seule gorgée a suffi pour vous énerver)!

- Abategetsi babiri bavuye mu gihugu cy'ibiyaga bigari baje mu mishyikirano(ubutumwa bwa leta yabo) yo kwaka imfashanyo i Burayi. Hari mu itumba rikaze(hiver) abantu bose batitira. Ni uko umwe muri za ntumwa abwira mugenzi we ati"Urabizi , ntangiye kubura ijwi kubera imbeho". Mugenzi we wari umukuru w'intumwa(chef de délégation) ati" ibyo nabyo, ngwino turebe aho turya ikintu gishyushye noneho mu kanya uze kubasha gusobanura ubukene bwugarije igihugu cyacu". Binjira muri resitora nziza ihenze cyane baricara maze babazanira igipapuro cy'ibiribwa biboneka muri iyo resitora(menu). Barazenguruka: a)Umuceri , oya iwacu urahaba kandi ntuba ushyushye cyane, b)isupu y'inyama, oya ino haba indwara y'inka zisara(vache folle). Kera kabaye barabukwa ahanditse z) Artichaut bati yaaaaaaaa, urabona ngo ibi babishyire kure kandi aribyo bishyushye! Ni uko bahamagara serviri bati “nyarutsa tudakererwa inama zana artichaut.” Arabazanira bwangu. Ngo bagakubita amaso artichaut basimbukira rimwe bati'Urabona ngo badusuzugure bashake kutugaburira imigwegwe kandi iwacu n'inka zitayona". Sibwo babakaciye bitabye burigadi gusobanura ko bakomanze bagacika batishyuye. Cyakora basobanurira burugadiye w'i Burayi ko bashakaga ikintu gishyushye babona artichaut bagakeka ko ari ubwoko bw'indyo ishyushye cyane. Barabarekura ariko inama bajemo ntibayijyamo kuko Minsitiri w'imali wagombaga kubakira yabonye hashize amasaha ane bataje nawe yigira mu nama muri Loni.

 Icyitonderwa: Artichaut ni igihingwa cy'i Burayi kiribwa ariko kitaba muri Afrika, cyenda kumera nk'umugwegwe wanze gukura.Igice cya artichaut kiribwa(comestible) kikitwa "capitule", ibindi bice byayo ntibiribwe. Bagabo barabona rwose babonye artichaut bashaka plat chaud.

- Umugore yagiye kuzirika isekurume mu gasozi, agarutse mu gugo ashyira ibishyimbo ku ziko. Hashize akanya yumva aranyotewe, ni bwo agiye kwivumbira yibwira ko ari bugaruke vuba. Ageze iyo avumba ibiganiro biraryoha, urwagwa ruratubuka. Si bwo ijoro ririnze kugwa atari yataha ngo ahishe ibishyimbo acyure n'isekurume. Hagati aho umugabo yaje kuza yongera amazi mu nkono ateka ibishyimbo birashya yandurura n'ibintu byose. Nyamugore atahutse, akora ku nkono y'ibishyimbo asanga byahiye. Ati "yooo, ibintu byikoze, dore bya bishyimbo byitetse."  Agiye gukinga amadirishya yasize afunguye asanga arafunze. Ati "reba rwose n'amadirishya yifunze!" Ajya hanze kureba amamera yari yasize yanitse arayabura, agenzuye neza asanga ari mu ntebo mu mfuruka. Ati" reba rwose na ya mamera yiyanuye!" Ubwo agenda agana ahari uburiri ariko mu nzu ntihabonaga neza. Agenda akorakora aba akoze mu bwanwa bw'umugabo we wari aryamye, ariyamirira ati "yewe, koko ibintu bya hano byose byiikoze, dore na cya Ruhaya nasize nziritse mu gasozi cyicyuye !! Mbega ibintu byiza!!" 

- Umugabo Mvuyekure yakuviriye ku Gikongoro n'umugore n'urubyaro ati"ngiye gutura ku Rusumo niho hera imyaka hakiboneka n'amasambu meza yo guhinga". Arakugendera agerayo aca indaro aratura. Abaturanyi baramusura baramuzimanira bati kaze neza ndetse bamutiza n'ibikoresho byo gutema ishyamba ngo ahinge dore ko ku Gikongoro yari yaravuye yahingaga agataka kangana urwara atazi uko batema ishyamba. Kera kabaye atema umukenke ku nkombe aza gukubitana n'imvubu ikutse uruzi iti"wa mugabo we uva he ukajya he?" Wa mugabo wawe utari yarigeze arabukwa inyamaswa y'agasozi ati "iyi ngurube ishobore kuba icitse wa muturanyi wanjye ejo wanshomeje ku rwagwa". Aragenda gahoro gahoro ngo agufatire ya mvubu ayicyamure ayerekeza kwa munywanyi we! Imvubu yakumenyereye ko isanganizwa amacumu n'ibitosho iti"kaze neza". Iritunatuna yikora mu matako irekura igice cya toni maze umugabo ayo mazirantoki amugezeho amera nk’utwitswe n'amazi abira benda gusongesha umutsima. Arebye hejuru asanga yapfukiriwe abura uko atabaza. Agerageza guhamagara ab’iwe ati" Yemwe yemwe kwa Mvuyekure, yaba Mukamvuyekure yaba umwana unyumva nimuntabare mfashwe n'imvubu!!”! Ubwo abaturanyi bari bumvise impumeko y'imvubu irekurira amazirantoki kuri Mvuyekure bose barahurura bakwira inkombe z'uruzi ngo itabacika dore ko bakundaga umufa wayo. Bamwumvise basekera rimwe bati"akabi ni ukuza guhaha ukazira kariya kageni. Ubona nibura iyo imufata ntimwitumeho ngo imusuzugure kariya kageni!” Barasimbuka bamukura munsi y'icukiro maze Mvuyekure ati"Data wamenya ngo yarazi ibizambaho!!!! ayi weeeeeeeee, nimumpoze ndi gushyaaaaaa!” Baramuhoza agizengo arorohehewe habe no gusezera ku mugore n'abana batari bakamenya ibyabaye kuri Mvuyekure; ntiyarara i Rusumo asubira kwibohera ibitebo i Gikongoro ati" Utazi ivubura ry'imvubu ajye ayiganira!!”

- Umugabo Kinyogote yakuviriye mu Ndorwa ajya gusura mucuti we Katabirora wari utuye i Bwishaza. Kinyogote ageze mu nzira, Katabirora amuhamagara kuri twa duterefoni bagendana mu ntoki. Aramubwira ati "uze kwihangana urasanga tudahari." None reka nkurangire uko ugera iwanjye. Nugera ku irembo, nta kibazo umuzamu aragukingurira. Urugi rwinjira mu nzu  na rwo nta kibazo rugutera,  twahaye umuzamu urufunguzo nta aragufungurira. Ikibazo ni ukuntu ugera mu cyumba cy'uruganiriro ngo uze kuba wiruhukira. Numara kwinjira mu nzu uratambika mu kirongozi, nugera imbere ukate ibumoso noneho uze kubona urugi rusize irangi ry'icyatsi kibisi. Narwo ntirufunze, ariko byakurushya kurufungura kuko umuzamu adashobora kwinjira mu nzu ngo agufashe. Ubwo uraza kuzamura nk'ikirenge ufatishe kuri serrure ufungure. Cyangwa se wakoresha n'inkokora." Kinyogote ati "ese ndinda nkoresha ikirenge cyangwa inkokora kubera iki, kandi mfite intoki?' Katabirora ati "niba ari ibyo subira inyuma utahe iwanyu. Jye nari nzi ko izo ntoki zose ziba zicigatiye urwagwa n'andi mafunguro unzaniye, bityo ntubone uko ufungura. None ndumva ugomba kuba uje imbokoboko. Abashyitsi nkawe ntibisanga kwa Katabirora ka Ruzagiriza ." 

-  Umugabo wari warayogoje akarere yagiye kwiba noneho ajyana umwaku. Ageze aho yiba asanga bamwiteguye bamutera igitosho ubura buraza. Sibwo asubiye iwe yandara. Umugore we yari yasigaye yaritse amazi yo gusonga ubugari ngo ngaha umugabo we arazana imboga. Umugabo arataha ageze ku rugi iwe arakomanga.

 Umugore ati “ni nde?
” Umugabo ati ni jyewe.”
 “Uzanye iki?”  
“Nzanye ubura.” 
Umugore ati “zana mugabo nkunda nabwo burya ubugari.”
 Ngo yakwinjira umugore asanga ni intere, amazi yo kuvuga ubugari arayamukandisha.

-  Bihehe  yagiye kwicuza ibyaha kwa Padiri, noneho irondora ibyaha byayo, igeza aho ivuga yuko yariye intama z'abandi. Igihe ikibivuga ibona izindi zirahise, iti "padiri ngirira vuba dore izindi zirancitse"

Ntacyo nakongeraho mana yanjye. Ariko rero ntabwo nshatse kuba nk'uyu mukobwa.

- Umukobwa yateze lift imuvana i Kampala agana i Kigali, kubw'amahirwe ikamyo irahagarara iramutwara. Kubera kuremererwa yagendaga buke bituma barara nzira kabiri kose. Bari kugera i Kigali, umukobwa nibwo ateruye, ati "buriya ejo nzahita njya kwicuza icyaha cy'uko nasambanye gatatu". Umushoferi, ati "kereka niba hari undi wari wahaye kuko jyewe twabikoze kabiri gusa!" Umukobwa amusubiza ababaye cyane, ati "ubu se koko turatandukana tutongeye?!"

- Abana babiri bwacyaga haba noheli ariko bakibazacyane niba Papa Noheli aza kubaha utugare. Ni uko bageze ku buriri batangira gusinzira ariko bikanga batekereza niba Papa Noheli ari bubahe utwo tugare. Ni uko umuto muri bo aratangira ati"Papa Noheli rwose wampaye akagare". Undi ati "ceceka Papa Noheli aba azi neza icyo aha ho buri mwana kado". Umuto wari wataye umutwe ati"urabeshya hari ubwo yibeshya agatanga icyo abonye cyose". Barahana barahana aho bigeze umwana muto avuga cyane ati"Papa Noheli ndashaka igare". Mukuru ati" vuga gahoro udakangura nyogokuru Napa Noheli ntiyapfuye amatwi". Murumuna we ati"Papa Noheli ntiyapfuye amatwi ariko nyogokuru we yarayapfuye agomba kumva icyo nshaka atava aho ampa umwanana nk'ubushize".

- Umushakashatsi yinjiye mu ishyamba maze akubitana n'intare. Akanura maremare maze arivugisha ati"Mana yanjye ukore ku buryo iyi ntare igutekereza kandi ibe yarabatijwe"! Intare nayo iti"Mana iri funguro urihe umugisha".

- Umugore n'umugabo bavuye i Nyamirambo bagiye muri wikendi(week-end ) i Cyangugu bihuta dore ko bakundaga ibitoki byaho byokeje na brosheti. Ni uko umugabo akaba yari afite imodoka imaze iminsi ivuye muri garaji. Imodoka ayiha umwuka n'umuriro maze mu muhanda ivumbi ribura agatebo. Umugore agira ubwoba abonye ko umugabo we yirukaga cyane asiga ibiti n'umuyaga. Abwira umugabo ati "uritonde mu makoni mfite ubwoba sheri, ntiwongere gukata utagabanyije vitensi  mfite ubwoba bwo kugwa kandi nshobora kugwa munsi y'umuhanda". Umugabo ubwo yumvaga bimugoye kuko imodoka yari yayiririmbishije karahava. Ni uko nyamugabo  asubiza umugore we ati" kora nkanjye kugirango utagira ubwoba". Umugore avuga cyane ati"sinumva ibyo uvugaaaa". Umugabo ati "funga amaso mu ikoni nkanjye ntacyo uba". Umugore ati"mbabarira ufungure amaso ntituri mu cyumba sheriiiiiiiiiiiiiii".

- Umusaza Kigunu yakundaga kwimeza neza muri resitora no mu kabari (bar-restaurant)"Umunezero" ariko agakunda kubara buri gihe ibiceri bamugaruriye ngo hato batazamwiba. Ni uko bukeye aragenda ararya aranywa uko bisanzwe muri bari -resitora. Amaze kurya arishyura gisirimu dore ko abamuzi bavugaga ko afite za miliyari aryamira adashobora no kubitsa muri banki y'abaturage ngo ngaha batazayamuryana abasore n'inkumi bazikoragamo. Amaze kwishyura umusore wamugaburiye wamuhaye n'icyo kunywa amuzanire ibiceri bisigaye bigeze ku miya ebyiri. Ubwo yari amaze isaha azitegereje dore ko kuwa gatandatu habaga huzuye abaguzi. Wa musore ati"muzehe naraye ndose umpa igiceri cy'abiri"! umusaza ajya mu ry’agaca ati"abiri yoseee, ni menshi cyane"! Umusaza areba hirya areba hino biramuyobera aho akoze mu mufuko w'imbere n'uw’inyuma akahasanga inoti, mu makoti agasangamo ibiceri by'atanu ni uko bimuyobeye ati" Ntako nabigenza nabuze ubusa ayo mfite yose arabara none jyana izo miya".

- Muribuka wa mubwirizabutumwa bababwiye ubushize? Turavuga umwe wagiye mu bukwe akinywera ku "bushera" burimo ka kabanga ke, yagira ngo aratashye akabona imisozi izenguruka akagaruka aho yari avuye mu bukwe ati "muze murebe ibyahanuwe birasohoye! Bibiliya yera yavuze ko mu bihe bya nyuma imisozi izahura igahoberana none ngaha birabaye." 

Reka dukomereze aho tubabwire ko bamaze kongera kumuherekeza bakamugeza ku gishanga ngo yambuke ajya ku musozi w'iwe. Yabaye agikandagiza ikirenga cya mbere mu gishanga rero aba yihonze hasi. Ntagize ngo arabyuka, ayoberwa aho yerekezaga. Ntiyivuna abitekerezaho akomeza urugendo, yerekeza aho abyutse areba. Ageze imbere yumva abantu basakabaka, ati "nkajya kureba, wasanga aho hantu habaye ibirori nkongera nkabona aho niganirira n'ubundi bariya bashenzi baransagariya bansezerera vuba." Agezeyo ikimwaro kiramukora kuko yasanze ari hamwe yahoze mu bukwe! Byatewe n'uko amaze kugwa yabyutse akerekeza aho abyutse areba ntamenye ko asubiye aho avuye! 

- Umugore yinjiye muri kabari maze arabukwa umugabo wari wambaye zahabu ku maboko , ku ntoki no mu josi maze aramubwira ati « mbega ngo abantu barasa ntacyo bapfana ! Uzi ko usa neza neza n’umugabo wanjye wa gatatu » ! Umugabo arumirwa dore ko amaso yari ayo maze abaza umugore ati «Kuki nsa n’uwo mugabo wawe ? aho nsa nawe ni hehe ? Wagize abagabo bangahe ?» umugore ati «  nagize abagabo babiri nawe wa gatatu nahigaga ».

- Umusazi yagiye kwivuza i Ndera noneho abwira muganga ati « buri joro ndota ndi imbere y’urugi ndusunika, ndusunika ariko rukanga gufunguka ». Muganga ati « ese kuri urwo rugi haba handitseho iki ? » Umusazi ati « handitseho ko umuntu agomba  kurukurura kugira ngo rukinguke, ariko nanga kurukurura ngo bene rwo batagirango ndiba ! Uranteye maaaa ! » Muganga ati « winjiye ute hano ? » Umusazi afumyamo ariruka !

- Umugabo Kwishingana ntiyoroshye ! Yahuriye ku muhanda na banywanyi be bateze bisi. Umwe ati « Kwishingana ntiyoroshye ! Icyo akoze cyose kiramuhira yarakize. Reba nawe mu kwezi gushize yashinganye(assurer) iduka rye bukeye rirashya bamwishyura amaduka atatu yuzuye.  Mu cyumweru gishize yashinganye umubiri we aho yakinaga umupira ahita acika ukuguru. Wabonye inkoni ya zahabu afite ? » 

- Umupadiri w'umuzungu yasomeye misa abakristu bo mu Busasamana. Baza kugera aho baririmba ya ndirimbo yitwa "Yezu waje kubana natwe." Hari igitero bagezeho rero gituma padiri agwa mu kantu, kuko bose icyarimwe baririmbaga ngo 'ndaco tugira kiri kiza, n'indege ndazo dufite, nditubasha kugira neza...." Padiri ati "oya murekere aho, ntimwirirwe mukomeza." Si bwo padiri asubiye muri sakristiya akiyambura imyambaro ya misa. Abakuru b'inama ya paruwasi baza kumureba, ngo bamenye icyatumye ahagarika misa. Padiri ati "bimaze iki gusomera misa abantu ngo badashobora kugira neza kuko badafite indege?  Jyewe ubwanjye ntimwabonye ko ngendera mu modoka ishaje? None abantu badafite n'amagare batangiye kuririra indege, bakagerekaho no kubiririmba mu misa, ngo niyo mpamvu badashobora kugira neza?" 

- Ngo abayobozi b’Amerika, Ubwongereza n’u Rwanda  batemberereye mu muriro utazima. Bagezeyo Minisitiri w’intebe w’Ubwongereza yibuka ko hari ubutumwa bwihutirwa ashaka kugeza ku Mwamikazi. Ni bwo afashe telefoni bavugana iminota itatu : kubera ko mu muriro utazima ngo ari kure cyane, yaje kwishyura miliyoni eshatu z’amafaranga y’abongereza. Perezida wa Amerika ubwo na we yahise yibuka ko hari akantu ashaka kubaza Umunyamabanga wa Leta, ni bwo na we agiye guterefona, akoresha iminota itanu bamwishyuza miliyoni enye z’amadolari. Perezida w’u Rwanda na we yibuka ko hari icyo agomba kubwira Umujyanama we yasize i Kigali, ajya kumuterefona, bavugana isaha yose. Ni bwo bamwishyuje amafaranga ijana y’amanyarwanda. Abandi bati « bino bintu birimo ikimenyane : bishoboka bite ko uvuze igihe kirekire ari we wishyura make ?’ Nuko nyiri cabine telephonique ati « kuki mwirengagiza ukuri mukuzi kandi mukubona neza ? Ntimusanzwe muzi se ko n’ubundi appel local ihenduka ? Hano ni muri enfer, n’aho uyu mugabo yaterefonnye ni kimwe ! Mwebwe zari appels internationaux ariko we yakoze appel local !

- Umugabo Bazumvampehe yagiye ku kazi yasinze, noneho umukoresha we Gasyampeke ararakara cyane, ati koko nta soni ufite zo kuza ku kazi wasinze? Undi rwose urandenganya ibi byose ni muganga wabiteye! Umukoresha we ati nonese muganga ni we wakwinitse mu nzoga? Undi rwose ejo nagiye kwa muganga mbabara mu nda, noneho anyandikira umuti ngomba kugura; ariko uzi ukuntu nawe bandika. Icyo nabashije gusoma ku rupapuro rero ni ahanditse amacupa abiri, n'ahandi handitse gatatu ku munsi.  Urumva nawe ibyakurikiyeho.

- Umugabo yagiye kwa muganga yahiye amatwi yombi, noneho muganga ati ariko ese ubundi ubu byakugendekeye bite? Undi wahora n'iki wa muganga ko telefone yasonnye ndimo ntera ipasi, noneho nakwitaba nfata ipasi aho gufata telefone! Muganga ati nonese amatwi yombi yahiye ate? Umugabo ati umva da! Nonese sinagombye guterefona hano nsaba rendez-vous!?

Ni uko muganga arumirwa.